The First Month

My boyfriend broke up with me exactly a month ago today. Today, I have been crying, and I have been angry. Mainly I am angry at Satan, who is a liar, a thief and a destroyer. He destroyed my relationship with my boyfriend, I believe that with all my heart. My boyfriend began to believe lies: a)his parents told him how concerned they are with our age difference (13 years); b)he became fearful and fled rather than standing firm.

Our faith brought us together and our unbelief broke us apart. For almost two years we have overcome. We overcame circumstances (unemployment, being broke, and living in separate places) because we agreed with God that we were to be together. We had already planned the wedding, but we were still waiting. We were waiting on circumstances to work out so we could start our lives together. Yet he became fearful and I was impatient. Both are rooted in unbelief.

So a relationship has been destroyed. And I am heartbroken.

BUT I believe God is good and He causes ALL things to work together for good for those that love him. So in the midst of my pain, I see and taste glimpses of His goodness.

My boyfriend taught me that I was special, well loved and beautiful. I never knew that until he showed it to me. I called him God's gift because he taught and showed me so many things about God.

In the aftermath, I am learning that I am still special, well loved and beautiful in God's eyes because I am His daughter. I am learning about God's sovereignty, grief, compassion, and so much more.

God is close to the brokenhearted. I never knew what that meant until now. I never understood what it was like to be brokenhearted until now. Yet isn't this one of the reasons Jesus came? "He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted..." Isaiah 61:1

We have the promise that God will bind up and heal our broken hearts! Isn't that Good News? In the midst of my grief, I can rejoice. God and His son care about my broken heart and yours.

I want to know God better. And this painful, horrible experience is helping me learn more about God. And I want to be like the boy's father who pleaded with Jesus, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief." Mark 9:24 So I am praying to Jesus to help me overcome my unbelief.