I realized something horrible tonight. I am an adulterer, like Gomer. Gomer, the adulteress says, "I will go after my other lovers, who give my my food and my water, my wool and my linen, my oil and my drink. God says, "She has not acknowleged that I was the one who gave her the grain, the new wine and oil, who lavished on her the silver and the gold." Hosea 2: 5, 8
I am an adulterer, just like Gomer. I am acting like the breakup with my boyfriend means all hope is gone, I am alone in the wilderness with no compass and life is over. BUT that's not true.
It was never my boyfriend who loved me and treated me so well. It was God, through my boyfriend, who lavished His love and grace on me. I am devastated because he got scared and ran away. And I have been crying for a month.
But the lover of my soul did not. He is still here, right beside me. Moreover, he promises me He will NEVER leave me nor forsake me. Hebrews 13 There is joy admidst the pain. GOD HAS NOT LEFT ME. And he never will. He is a faithful God who continues to woo me and pursue me and he will NEVER stop.
It was GOD all along who gave, and continues to give, me grain, new wine, and oil and silver and gold. Not my boyfriend. God just used him to reveal Himself to me.
Oh what amazing love is this!! Hallelujah!! Hallelujah!!
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This is so profound and honest. I know you had a very rough year in 2010. I know that God has great things in store for you this year and in the future. You are right, it is His love that you saw in your boyfriend (not mentioning names for privacy ;o). Some day God will provide you with someone who not only deeply and passionately loves God, but who also loves you more than anything here on earth. I know it is a struggle, but keep up the battle with God as your lead. I hope to visit with you again soon in person; either in NC or VA. God bless.
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